So, it all began when I met Will on Grindr. I live in this tiny mountain town excluded from normal society, so it’s definitely slim f*cking pickings way up here. Coming from LA where you have a massive selection to choose from to having practically zero is a huuuge adjustment…
Okay, so there’s this super liberal doctor that travels all the way from LA to work in my podunk little town’s hospital and I was stalking her Instagram because for the lulz cuz she’s one of those hairy armpits, ultra feminist, trans-worshiping, pronoun-dictating people that inject that has to inject…
This video had me dying! I’d freak the fkkkk out. And the sound they added into the video! my underwear would be thrashed… We basically have this where I live as I’ve talked about here before… Big tarantulas up in Northern California. Me and my brother used to actually “hunt”…
Okay, so this is the unfortunate story of how I gave up my ass-ginity to some random dude from Hot or Not. So, this was way back in 2014, it was like the summer between Junior and Senior year, and holy sh*t I was so ready to just get f*cked,…
I haven’t been able to have a f*cking normal Fourth of July since I was like 19. My ass was always working some stupid customer service job, where I’d get to listen to some dumb b*tch go on and on about how great their holiday is gonna be; meanwhile, mine’s…
Alright, so like I said last time, there were two instances of completely f*cking nasty sexual deviancy that occurred in the last place you’d expect: A simple country school farm. The previous story was pretty f*cking bad. I mean, who in the hell feels like getting dicked down in front…
Speaking of the school farm, I have some pretty f*cked up memories about that place. You probably thought it was all sunshine and rainbows, but nobody talks about the smell of pig shit permeating the air, or all the nasty sexual deviancy that took place. In fact, there are two…
I can still see myself hoppin’ into Mrs. K’s front seat. Had my Justin boots on, so I was totally thinking that I looked super cute. Except I was also wearing skinny jeans, and I was like 80 pounds fatter than I am now. So… let’s just say that back…
The American worker is getting f*cked in more ways than one with all this COVID bullsh*t. On top of having our livelihoods ripped out from under us, and being forced to look into the face of poverty, we’re going to be on the frontline in a giant war against all…
It’s things like this that really make me hate everybody. It’s almost as if we’re like stuck in some freaky cultural stasis that tragically decided to begin on December 31, 1979. Maybe that’s the dimension we’re in, the one where we’re all doomed to constant wannabe-second-wave feminism. But, seriously though,…