One day, back when I was in high school, I was watching South Park on tv, and I think Cartman was talking about something called like ‘Trypophobia’. So, I looked that sh*t up on my phone, and I literally died instantaneously. One of the scariest things I’ve ever had the displeasure of looking upon. Like I honestly thought this was some real deal disease.
I was totally prepared to live the rest of my life in a hazmat suit, when basic English 101 kicked in, and I remembered about Latin roots. I knew that ‘Phobia’ meant ‘Fear of’, so I was glad to know these photos weren’t depicting some kind of viral plague, but are actually just showing what a specific fear looks like. In this case, trypophobia means your’re scared sh*tless of holes.
Up until that point, the vaginal opening was the only hole I was freaked out by. But, after looking at all the photos Google Images had to offer, holes started to really f*ck with me. I mean, come on, they’re just so weird. Like they’re dark, scary, and if you don’t see one coming, you’re totally snapping your f*cking ankle in half, so you can add ‘Treacherous’ to the list too. They’re just all bad news.
After my eyes digested the creepiness of the pictures, I had half a mind to make it my life’s mission to plug up every hole in the world. Starting first with Dave Franco’s, and then every single hole I come across. Then, I realized that would be a super monotonously boring job, so I reduced it to just filling Franco’s holes exclusively.
But, anyways, seriously! How can these pics not give you the heebeegeebees? Like even now I’m wigged out a bit. In fact, the only thing that would weird me out more, is someone who doesn’t find them freaky. They’ve got to be like seriously disturbed in the head or something. So, if you can sit here, gazing at these wretched images without even batting an eye, please let me know, so I can avoid your ass at all costs.
