So, one weekend, when i was down at The Compound in LA, I was sitting around, like, completely bored. Tisch was working, Anastasia was held up in her room, Wyatt was God knows where, and Richard was having multiple rounds of sexual intercourse with some Texan bitch he flew out to California. The Texan bitch is actually super cute, and nice, but I just felt like calling her a bitch, anyways. But, needless to say, I was all alone, bored, for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, Richard and Charli (Texan bitch) emerge from the steamy confines of the master bedroom, and relay to me that we’ll all be going to Griffith Observatory, since this was Charli’s first trip to LA, and all. Even though it was a super tourist-y place to visit, which makes it instantly lame, I was kind of excited to go, since i’ve never been before myself. So, we rounded up Anastasia, and Wyatt, and packed ourselves into Wyatt’s, like, super 1980s-looking Mercedes, and took off towards the observatory. Though we were cruising around in this ugly dinosaur of a car, it was a pretty decent ride over there. The backseat was spacious, so i could open my legs, and let my balls breathe freely, while not having to worry about anyone else, and their gross legs sticking to mine. Anyways, we roll up onto the street that winds up to the observatory, and theres tons of traffic, like, everywhere. We didn’t want to get caught up in that shitstorm, so we decided we’d just park, and walk our happy asses all the way up to Griffith. We start our trek up the mountain, just as sunset was hitting. So, after, like, 5 minutes, it was getting dark. And, fun fact, they don’t have sidewalks, so we had to walk on the side of the road at dusk. Which doesn’t seem bad, but the side of the road was muddy, with puddles, and had tree roots jutting out everywhere. If you weren’t dodging puddles, you were almost faceplanting over some rude-ass tree. Plus, I, specifically, had the special task of keeping my white shoes from looking like little turds by the end of the trip, which was a difficult feat. After what felt like around 30 miles, we reached our destination. Architecturally, I thought Griffith Observatory was beautiful. We all started to explore, as a group. But, I feel like we got bored super fast, or, at least, I did. I felt like everything in there I’d learned in basic junior high science. So, we all started to, like, go in our own directions, and explored on our own. Honestly, I just looked at the views from the balcony, and at the building itself. It was pretty busy, and the place seemed to be full of idiots, because nobody seemed to understand how to politely walk around. Like, i was constantly getting brushed against, and then there was some chick who left her empty stroller, literally, in the middle of the walkway, without even the slightest consideration for others. After walking around like that for a good 30 minutes, I finally regrouped with my friends. We decided, since we were there, that we should go look at the planetarium, and the telescope, and all that. Well, forget that sh*t, because the line was filled up with everyone in the world, and their sister. So, we called it quits, and started making our way to the main exit. After we all got molested by the masses of people surrounding the door, we put the cherry on top of our tourist trip. We stopped an old couple, just minding their own business, and gave them all of our phones so we could get a group picture. We spent, like, 10 minutes trying to take one simple decent photo. The elderly dude didn’t understand technology, so I had to teach him how to work the camera, which had to be repeated for each phone. We, finally, got a cute enough picture to let these folks go back to enjoying their evening. Then, all we had to do was journey back down the treacherous mountain, when it was pitch black outside. Guess what my shoes looked like by the end of trying to blindly navigate my way down the path? Little. f*cking. turds. I was pretty upset after that tragedy. Plus, the sloshing sound of Wyatt’s puddle-drenched shoe was giving me a headache. Pretty much what you’re gathering from all of this, is that i absolutely can’t wait to go back to Griffith Observatory! Just joking. I thought it was pretty lame, to be honest. But, that’s just because i have no particular interest in planetary science, or being trampled on by thousands of tourists. But, that doesn’t mean that anyone can’t absolutely love those things! I mean, it did cure my boredom, at least. So don’t take my terrible experience, and assume it’ll be the same for you. All i’d suggest is that you plan super good. Maybe, go at a drier, slower time, like, a Monday at 6 A.M. in July, so you won’t have to be consumed by the unwashed masses, or trek through wet swamplands, and all that malarkey.
