So, those weird little scent beads by Gain SUCK. Like, really bad. They sound pretty cool on the commercial, don’t get me wrong. Anything that can make my laundry smell super fresh for way longer, is going to sound cool to me. And, they totally worked, my laundry smelled wonderful!…

Okay, I like Mean Girls just as much as any other gay boy in 2016. But, for real, Lindsay Lohan is a nut. Like, who launches themselves into unbelievable wealth and superstardom, just to throw it all away with being a cokewhore? The reason i even bring her up is…

Okay, I love Jello! I mean, who doesn’t, though? There’s SO much awesome sh*t you can do with it. Like, my all-time favorite, mashing your thumbs into its squishy perfectness, until it’s a globby mess. Which is, pretty much, like, a metaphor of how I’m constantly the perpetrator of screwing…

  Okay, so here’s something I find pretty rad that’s been going on lately. Apparently, all these younger people are having these things called “Vasectomy parties”. At first, I was wondering who the fu*k celebrates a vasectomy? Like theres knives gouging, and mutilating, your soft, precious dick skin, and your…

I’m pretty sure that everyone has been asked the seemingly millennia-old question “If you were stranded on an island, what three things would you want to have with you, and why?”  Well, I could be pretty fu*king obvious and say things like “Lifetime supply of freshwater”, or “Fully-stocked lifeboat, with…

There was a time when my shoulders were as white as a baby’s a*s. Perfect, undamaged skin.  That all changed, however, as terrible as it is. So, it was the summer of 2013, and I had just gotten my license. Obviously, I was going to be picking up my friends…

I was walking down Santa Monica Blvd with a friend of mine, and out of nowhere a nice slice of sexy beefcake came into view. Drunk off his ass, though, but definitely a cutie, for sure. So Sunday Funday in WeHo had gotten to this poor soul, and he barely…