t’s been a good 6 years since I was in Freshman English class. Thank God, though. I remember that room would always reek so bad, because all the Drama Club students would marinate in there during lunchtime, and apparently they think arm deodorant is optional, which was pretty nasty. Anyways,…
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I used to be a fatass. Like 184 pounds of thick bubbling lard. Emphasis on the “Used to be”, since now I’m obviously gorgeous. But, this next story is gonna take place when Chasey had a little extra junk in his trunk, and looked like a butterball. So, we were…
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So, I decided this post is going to be about my stuffed animal Squish, who was formerly the apple of my eye. I say “Formerly”, because we all grow up one day, and anyone who’s still that into their toys, is probably a huge ass weirdo. I’m sure we all…
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It’s crazy how everybody’s idea of vacation is like some tropical beach somewhere in the Caribbean. I mean, yeah, the weather’s nice, but god I hate the beach. I find nothing fun about sitting in the hot sand for hours on end, with the glaring sun beating down on my…
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I used to be a Sims addict. Like, I’d seriously lose my sh*t if you uttered even a single phrase to me while I was in the zone. You don’t know how many times my mother had to smack me upside the head for going batshit on her, like I’m…
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Growing up in rural America, I’ve been on tons of hunting trips, as us rednecks are so fond. I always knew that come September, when bird season began, to expect lots of my weekends to be jam-packed with hiking, campfires, and those oh-so-fresh communal toilets. Toilets aside, it was all…
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Okay, so I’m about to admit something kinda f*cked up. I personally don’t think it’s super terrible or anything, but to some people it totally might be, but it’s whatever, I’m still telling it to ya anyways. So, we had these people living next door to us who were really…
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When I was younger, I’d always go over to my best friend Angel Anderson’s house to play. I’d never ever in my entire life dare to knock on their front door, her father scared the living Jesus out of me (And that’s why I’m gay). I felt like he hated…
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Alright, get ready for some relationship talk. I’m afraid that I must be some kind of huge freak, or something, because I like cannot find a connection with anyone on a romantic level for the life of me. It’s like I’m one of those mutants…
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I got one of those Facebook memory things the other day, and I totally forgot how weird I really am. So incredibly weird that, 6 years ago, I spent a good 2-3 hours photoshopping a family portrait depicting Selena Gomez, myself, our future children together,…