• Blog

    WTF Did I Just Watch …

    View this post on Instagram <— WATCH THIS Are we all done puking? Great!  There’s literally so much cringe going on in this video that I’m getting premature crows feet. I don’t even know where to start. I mean this sh*t is an abortion on toast straight from the beginning…

  • Blog

    Lord of the Flies

    So, my living situation has definitely been a little hairy lately. It’s not like I’m homeless, or anything crazy like that. It’s just that I’ve been forced to lead a very Amish-esque existence, which, given that I’m full-on Gen Z living in the 21st Century, means that I’ve got an…

  • Blog

    Sequels S U C K!

    So, the reason I’m writing this is because I saw this giant advertisement for The Secret Life of Pets 2. Now, I’ve never seen the first movie, but i do remember seeing the previews, and let me tell you, I was def not impressed, totally looked like another shit-show movie…

  • Blog - Life - Product

    Get Over Coconut Oil, Thx.

    It honestly baffles me how people continue to use coconut oil on their skin. It’s like the worst fad you could follow, minus joining a suicide pact. And, there’s people all day long on Instagram who love to argue with me that “It works for them”- works for you how,…

  • Blog - Life - Personal Stories

    Twilight Zone

    Twilight Zone is such a cool show. I mean, it was made in like the 60s, so you’d think it’d be some wholesome lame piece of crap, but honestly, it’s pretty rad. It deals with a lot of fantasy and science fiction, culminating in some bizarre, usually macabre, ending. My…

  • Blog - Life - Personal Stories

    Lawn of Ineptitude

    So, it’s a really weird situation, but I have a few friends who all take on responsibility of maintaining a house that we share use of for our business endeavors. The house once had a decent looking backyard, nice lush grass, lights strung all over, a sparkling blue swimming pool.…

  • Blog - Life - Personal Stories

    Pop’s Hooker Story

    So, this story isn’t mine. It’s actually my father’s, but it’s hilarious so I totally have to share it with everyone. Alright, when my Dad was a younger dude, he and his buddies would go to Mexico a ton for fishing trips. They’d be gone for days on end, out…

  • Blog - Life - Personal Stories

    Fruity Thoughts

    I think it’s so weird how much fruit I haven’t tried before. Like, there’s so much more variety beyond just your average apples and oranges you see in the grocery store, and it seriously kinda blew my mind to realize this. For instance, I recently tried this thing called a…

  • Blog - Life - Personal Stories

    Birthdays

    Birthdays are amazing. It’s the one day a year where you can be a self-absorbed b*tch, and no one’s going to hate on you for it, because HELLO it’s YOUR birthday! You get bouncy houses, cakes, and presents! Your name is sprawled upon banners in every corner, your favorite color…