Okay, I like Mean Girls just as much as any other gay boy in 2016. But, for real, Lindsay Lohan is a nut. Like, who launches themselves into unbelievable wealth and superstardom, just to throw it all away with being a cokewhore? The reason i even bring her up is because the media spotlight has, once again, illuminated this botched-up piece of plastic, that we should have just ditched back in 2004.
So the news article I read about her was titled, “Topless pics and all-night partying: Lindsay Lohan’s behavior cause for concern?” Hello? Where the fu*k have you been? Everyone and their brother is already abundantly aware that Lindsay is 31 flavors of a partied-out cum-dump. We all came to that conclusion ourselves after her father called her out for being an alleged high-profile hooker, giving out her poontang to whoever could afford to fund her nights of drugs and alcohol.
Besides her usual brand of dumb bitch that the media portrays to us, Miss Lohan has gone outside her comfort zone, and coyly announced she would like to run for President in the 2020 elections. Her first order of business, free sh*tty nose jobs for everyone! No, but seriously, she needs to be lobotomized, before she decides to fu*k America up the a*s more than Trump or Hillary could ever hope to in their wildest wet dreams.
On the subject of government, I read that Lindsay Lohan was “Involved in Brazilian politics”. Not as anything actually important to Brazil or it’s diplomacy, or anything of actual importance. However, her involvement was limited to her tweeting “Brasil needs a change and I support Aecio Neves!”. THAT was how she was “Involved” in their politics, a fu*king tweet. And, like, what sane Brazilian is going to take fu*king Lindsay Lohan’s opinion, on who should run their country, actually seriously? She doesn’t even live in Brazil, why would anyone care what she thought about it?
I know i sound like a huge bitch, but i actually kind of like Lindsay Lohan. Yeah, she’s kind of a messed-up skank, who’s made a few too many bad decisions, and her intelligence is definitely up for debate, but that doesn’t make her a bad person on the inside, you know? She seems like she’d be a sweet girl, but just a dumb sleazy one.
