So, those weird little scent beads by Gain SUCK. Like, really bad. They sound pretty cool on the commercial, don’t get me wrong. Anything that can make my laundry smell super fresh for way longer, is going to sound cool to me. And, they totally worked, my laundry smelled wonderful! I even washed my bedding with the stuff, so i could just wrap myself up in smelly goodness each night.
However, the trade off for awesome smelling fabrics, is your comfort, and peace of mind. Those beads really fuck with you on that, trust me. Anyways, i dive into my bed that night, and sleep like a baby. The scent of whatever the fuck Gain smells like, gently lullabied me into a deep slumber. So deep, that my unconscious mind couldn’t feel as my skin began to redden and pucker.
The next morning, yours truly was covered from head to toe, in a bright red rash. Uncontrollably itching, I get pretty worried, as any normal person would. I had literally no idea how this even happened. I had went from happy go-lucky Chase Jordan, to this fucking tomato who can’t stop scratching his asscrack.
I was super scared, like what the hell was going on with me? The itches quickly turned into a pulsating stinging feeling, like all over my body. I wanted to die. After a few days of gritting and baring through it, hoping it’d make like a banana and split, I realized it wasn’t going away in the slightest. So i just lay in bed, being consumed by my pain and misery.
Next day, I was about done with being incredibly uncomfortable, believe it or not. And, after looking up what this rash could possibly be from online, I was sufficiently scared. I mean, it said i could have little bugs burrowed inside me, hatching eggs and living it up inside the mansion that is my skin. Worried about myself, i went to go see the doc, hopefully they’d help me.
So, i get to the doctor’s office, and am forced to walk all the way behind the building, to their “Rash door”. All because they didn’t want other patients to be exposed to whatever was going on with me. Like, all the people in there were old anyways, I’m sure I’d be doing them a favor by speeding up their appointments with the Ol’ Grim Reaper, you know?
I’m finally inside the place, and they have me in their “Rash room”. You know, so i didn’t infect other people and all that jazz. So, I’m sitting there for like an hour, just waiting. Every other second, being plagued by the intense burning sensation all over me. Finally, a nurse walked in and asked me what the hell was going on.
She was super funny, but that, sadly, wasn’t a cure for my debilitating full-body rash, as much as i wanted it to be. Okay, so, I’m like telling her my symptoms, or whatever, and she has no idea what I’m talking about. I told her it felt like a bad sunburn, you know? Well, she didn’t know. She was black and was spared from ever knowing the suffering of too much UV rays, that lucky-ass woman.
Another 30 minutes passed, and I was finally taken to see the doctor. I was so relieved to finally know what’s happening to me, and how to stop it. I have to get my blood drawn, and a bunch of crap, but it’s nothing compared to the discomfort I’d been enduring. However, after getting my fluids sucked out of my veins, and hoping for an answer, all the doctor told me to do was to come back if it got worse.
Come back if it got worse? What if it really were contagious, or something? I live with a baby, that’s not safe for her. So, all the way home, I’m super worried about myself. Why wasn’t the doctor able to identify it? I was going nuts about it. Spending hours on shit like WebMD and MayoClinic, researching all these different kinds of rashes. Then, I saw that you could get rashes from allergens.
So i sat there and thought of all the things i could be allergic to. I laid in bed that night, going over and over in my head, all the new products i’ve been using that could do this to me. It wasn’t until the next day that the bottle of Gain scent beads came to mind. I typed it into google, and sure enough, hundreds of other people have been experiencing the blistering agony that i’ve been dealing with.
So I was, pretty much, poisoning myself each day by climbing into bed, and wearing my clothes. Not knowing they were what was causing this whole shit-storm to take place. I mean, I’d never been allergic to any sort of detergent, so it wasn’t something i’d initially thought of. But, god, whatever the hell is in that product is directly from Satan himself, and it’s not just me whose was cursed by this shit.
There’s tons of people being effected by it, all experiencing similar symptoms to me. I’m not sure if it’s the chemicals in it, or what, but it’s definitely bad. You’d think, since tons of people have had this issue, that Gain would, like, change their ingredients, or something. But, i guess they don’t care if their customers are forced to run to some nasty public restroom, just to scratch and give some sweet relief to their scorching red balls.
And, that’s why those Gain scent beads suck so much, they’ll fuck with you beyond belief, make you think you’ve caught some crazy ass disease, make you scratch off layer upon layer of precious skin, until you look like you’ve been hitting the meth pipe too much. Seriously, beware of this stuff, it’s terrible.
