I think it’s so weird how much fruit I haven’t tried before. Like, there’s so much more variety beyond just your average apples and oranges you see in the grocery store, and it seriously kinda blew my mind to realize this.
For instance, I recently tried this thing called a jackfruit. It was some giant gnarly-looking oval with tiny spikes jetting out everywhere. For some reason, whenever I look at it, I always imagine just how painful that’d be to sh*t out. So, images of bleeding expanded buttholes fluttering through my mind don’t exactly give me an appetite, but holy crap! It’s like actually super delicious.
Once you crack open its tough intestine-ripping exterior, you can make your way down into its meaty orange insides. Never has a fruit tasted so much like a candy to me before. The flesh of the jackfruit is so tangy, and sweet, with a nice thick chewy texture. It’s so wonderful, it completely flabbergasts me that it’s not selling like hotcakes from every corner, of every street, in every city in America.
Now I’m hooked. Sometimes I wish I actually could magically expel a jackfruit outta my a*s. Beyond making me alright with massive rectal trauma for a piece of food, it’s also made me super interested in all the other fruits out there that are unknown to me.
Like, there’s something called starfruit out there; I wanna know what the hell that tastes like. Then there’s sugar-apples, rambutans, passion fruit, tons of sh*t. The list goes on, and I wanna try them all. So, that means the Fruit World better look out, because Daddy’s comin’, and he’s hungry for ya.
