• Blog - Life - Personal Stories

    Pop’s Hooker Story

    So, this story isn’t mine. It’s actually my father’s, but it’s hilarious so I totally have to share it with everyone. Alright, when my Dad was a younger dude, he and his buddies would go to Mexico a ton for fishing trips. They’d be gone for days on end, out…

  • Blog - Life - Personal Stories

    Fruity Thoughts

    I think it’s so weird how much fruit I haven’t tried before. Like, there’s so much more variety beyond just your average apples and oranges you see in the grocery store, and it seriously kinda blew my mind to realize this. For instance, I recently tried this thing called a…

  • Blog - Life - Personal Stories

    Birthdays

    Birthdays are amazing. It’s the one day a year where you can be a self-absorbed b*tch, and no one’s going to hate on you for it, because HELLO it’s YOUR birthday! You get bouncy houses, cakes, and presents! Your name is sprawled upon banners in every corner, your favorite color…

  • Blog - Life - Personal Stories

    Curley’s Wife

    t’s been a good 6 years since I was in Freshman English class. Thank God, though. I remember that room would always reek so bad, because all the Drama Club students would marinate in there during lunchtime, and apparently they think arm deodorant is optional, which was pretty nasty. Anyways,…

  • Blog - Life - Personal Stories

    Squish

    So, I decided this post is going to be about my stuffed animal Squish, who was formerly the apple of my eye. I say “Formerly”, because we all grow up one day, and anyone who’s still that into their toys, is probably a huge ass weirdo. I’m sure we all…

  • Blog - Life - Personal Stories

    Baked Alaska

    I used to be a Sims addict. Like, I’d seriously lose my sh*t if you uttered even a single phrase to me while I was in the zone. You don’t know how many times my mother had to smack me upside the head for going batshit on her, like I’m…

  • Blog - Life - Personal Stories

    Happy Camper

    Growing up in rural America, I’ve been on tons of hunting trips, as us rednecks are so fond. I always knew that come September, when bird season began, to expect lots of my weekends to be jam-packed with hiking, campfires, and those oh-so-fresh communal toilets. Toilets aside, it was all…

  • Blog - Life - Personal Stories

    Tears of Joy

    Okay, so I’m about to admit something kinda f*cked up. I personally don’t think it’s super terrible or anything, but to some people it totally might be, but it’s whatever, I’m still telling it to ya anyways. So, we had these people living next door to us who were really…

  • Blog - Life - Personal Stories

    Prison Burrito

    When I was younger, I’d always go over to my best friend Angel Anderson’s house to play. I’d never ever in my entire life dare to knock on their front door, her father scared the living Jesus out of me (And that’s why I’m gay). I felt like he hated…

  • Blog - Life - Personal Stories

    Meet the Jordashians

              I got one of those Facebook memory things the other day, and I totally forgot how weird I really am. So incredibly weird that, 6 years ago, I spent a good 2-3 hours photoshopping a family portrait depicting Selena Gomez, myself, our future children together,…