Genetics suck. You know, the things in our DNA, that have the ultimate decision in screwing you over. They get to choose things, like how big your nose is, how fat you’ll most likely be, and which debilitating, horrible illness you’ll be susceptible to. Also, especially in my case, genes get to decide how young you’ll look, which is like the worst thing ever.
My genes made it so that I’m like a pedophile’s wet dream: Perfectly legal, age-wise, but definitely looks like i could’ve just walked off of a school bus. I’ve even had freaky dudes on Grindr try to get me to wear little boys’ underwear, so I can be part of their sick fantasies, it’s super weird. I cant even go to restaurants, because, more than once, have I been given the kiddie cup. The ones with cartoon characters on it, with the anti-spill lids. Then, I have to sit there with my Mickey Mouse cup, trying to eat my spaghetti like an adult, while all of my friends laugh at me. It’s a pretty embarrassing ordeal to go through. Plus, all of my other friends get to have fake IDs, and go to bars, and have awesome times with each other. Myself, on the other hand, could never pass for being 21. So, no point in me getting a fake ID, because the bartenders would probably take one look at me, laugh their asses off, while they shred it to pieces, and throw me out to the curb. I mean, even after i’ve turned 21, i bet you that I’ll be thoroughly interrogated about my age, in every single bar that I walk into. I guess that’s a good thing, because i’d be less likely to be an alcoholic, or something. But, still, it’s going to suck. As you can see, my boyish body is the bane of my existence.
The only positive thing that comes from my youthful appearance, is that people sometimes pay for my candy at gas stations, but that’s about it. Other than that, it’s constantly being hit on by ChoMos, being treated like a child by the public, and being escorted out of bars. All of this, thanks to my
genes, who screwed me out of my manhood, and left me as a boy, for all eternity.
I love your writings.