Recently, everyone and their brother has been doing this whole thing on Facebook where you tell all of your friends which three fictional characters represent your personality. Which is actually kind of cool, because it’s giving people a chance to be more introspective, and actually take a look at themselves and what their character portrays. It also gives others a better way to understand you, by dumbing down the complexity of your own personality into three fictional persons’ whole separate personalities. So, it all got me to wondering about how I see myself and who’d best symbolize that. I mean besides being a huge douchebag, who am I? Super hard question. I literally spent hours sitting there flipping through mental pictures of every cartoon and sitcom that’s melted my brain over the years, all for some stupid Facebook post. I’m lame, aren’t I? But, anyway, after pushing myself to my mental limits, I finally came up with the answer. So, if you’re interested, here’s who I think represents who I am *Spoiler Alert*:

Holly Golightly

Okay, so this bitch is nuts. She’s the main character of the 1961 classic Breakfast at Tiffany’s, which is a favorite of mine, because I’m a cliché gay. What draws me to Holly is her eccentricity. She literally has a sawed-in-half bathtub as a couch, like what the fuck? Her apartment below the outrageously stereotyped I. Y. Yunioshi, is always thrashed and cluttered with her clothes strewn everywhere, and random objects thrown in planters, and all sorts of shit. Which she just conveniently shoves into her bedroom when she wants to throw a huge house party with all of her friends. Holly isn’t sure what she truly wants, she knows that she wants to love someone, but is also terrified of being tied down and corralled by a relationship. Which is something I battle with constantly, actually. Her unpredictable, extroverted, and bizarre nature is definitely something that I find in my personality as well, so Holly Golightly made it first to be on this highly coveted list of mine.

Elle Woods

Legally Blonde is a great movie! Yep, told you I was a cliché gay. Elle Woods is whom the story centers upon. She’s the blonde, bubbly, naïve Delta Nu sorority president, who leaves Bel Air and takes on Harvard Law School to try and win back her dumb ex-boyfriend. Elle seems to skate through her life in pink bedazzled rollerblades, and all people see is a dumb blonde. Her vivacious and sweethearted nature tends to give off the impression that Elle lacks much depth or intelligence. So people, her friends and family included, aren’t able to take her seriously when Elle wishes to attend Harvard. Despite the odds and what everyone assumed about her, Elle managed to graduate with honors from law school, becoming this extremely successful lawyer and all that jazz. She pretty much kicks ass and shuts everyone up who doubted her. Elle would represent the sweet, naïve, bubbly side to my personality, and the similar struggle we share to be taken seriously, when those around us do not.

Dorothy Zbornak

Okay, so I can be a huge dickhead, go figure. I’m sarcastic as fuck, to the point where people don’t know if I’m genuinely being a butthead or not. Sarcasm helps to deal with the constant stupidity around you. Which Dorothy definitely felt living with Rose on the 80s-90s TV show Golden Girls, which is probably the most cliché gay thing on here. This iconic comedy series has so many beloved characters. Mine being Dorothy, of course. She’s kind of a huge bitch. Which is exactly what makes you love her. She’s just this old funny broad, who doesn’t give a shit. Her humor can seem abrasive, but it’s all in good fun, and, thankfully, her housemates can take a joke. Even when Dorothy isn’t kidding, she can be the most unfeeling ruthless bitch ever. She isn’t afraid to tell you how she feels, and what is bothering her. Which, in my opinion, is great! I love when people can be honest, and I like that we share this proclivity for being brutally honest with people. That, along with her sarcastic humor, is why I choose Dorothy as my third and final representation of what I think of myself and my personality, the good parts, at least.

It’s good to do this exercise! Gets you more in touch with yourself! I mean, you have to sit there and identify what you think embodies who you are. All sorts of memories and possible personality traits flutter through your mind, until you decide which three characteristics illustrate you as a person. Not just beneficial for yourself, either. This can give others a whole different understanding of you, and reminds people that there’s more to the book than the cover.

P.S. Wow, yeah, so, now that I’m not super stoned out of mind anymore, I’ll come right out and say I must’ve been on something, if i chose Dorothy to represent my personality! I’m so bad at confrontation, and i can only jokingly be a dickhead. If anything, I’m a mix between Rose and Blanche, or a horny retard, if you’d will. Dorothy is someone I’d want to be more like though, for almost all the reasons listed above.